


Acceptance

by Fottiti



Category: Assassin's Creed - All Media Types
Genre: Assassins vs. Templars, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Late Night Conversations, M/M, Psychological Trauma, Sleepy Cuddles, Typos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-19
Updated: 2020-06-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:53:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24801883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fottiti/pseuds/Fottiti
Summary: Altair rubbed a tear away from his cheekbone with his thumb, “The moment I lose you, is the moment I lose myself.”
Relationships: Malik Al-Sayf/Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad
Comments: 4
Kudos: 72





	Acceptance

**Author's Note:**

> Might be OOC but I tried okay?! Also first fic for just them so YEET

The sound of water trickling gently from the fountain were the only sounds to be heard from within the Assassins Bureau. The light of the moon casting a glow across the stone, the fountain and the many pillows and cushions and blankets scattered around the resting area. Malik was behind his desk a candle providing enough light so he was able to see his writing. It was a short letter back to Masayf, about supplies he would need for the other Assassins and his letter respectively demanding suitable weapons and clothing and other essentials for his Bureau. 

Sighing heavily, Malik leaned himself down on the desk. Quill in hand he leaned his elbow in the counter and held his head in his hand, he pursed his lips are reread his letter. It sounded too, foreword he concluded. He was too tired to produce a letter that demanded his Bureau be given enough supplies without sounding rude. Malik lay down his quill ready to deal with it in the morning and blew out the candle. The smoke that rose from the flame swayed in the breeze. Malik ran his hand along the desk as he walked out from behind it, he looked back once more to watch the last remains of the candle smoke vanish away. Malik yawned once and rose his arm over his head, giving a satisfied hum when his shoulder blades popped. 

Malik continued to clean and organize the objects around his Bureau with the light of the moon before he gathered his personal belongings in his arm and carried them to the back room hidden by a secret door in the bookshelf. He was thankful there were no novices sleeping in the atrium or room tonight, he was able to relax without worry of making too much noise and waking them. The past few nights his Bureau was nearly filled with motives on their first missions. Malik returned to the entrance and was startled to see white robes gently swaying in the breeze as the Assassin moved to the fountain for a drink. Malik felt for the dagger in his waist and approached the doorway quietly, holding onto the side with his hand. The Dai opened his mouth to greet the Assassin, but was cut off. 

“Safely and peace,” The all too familiar voice made Malik relax, a small smile creeping up to his lips as his anxiety dissolved. “Malik.” Altair shook the water droplets from his hands and turned his head just to the side so Malik could see the shadowy outline of his nose and lips. 

Malik sighed and leaned against the wall. “Novice.” He greeted him. And smiled when Altair spun and shot him a glare. Altair was the only person ever that had been able to sneak up on Malik, even since their training days years ago. “You startled me Altair, I could’ve stabbed you.” Malik teased and pulled the front of his long navy coat back to show the handle of the dagger in his waist. “I do still have my throwing arm.”

“I’d like to see you try.” Altair raised an eyebrow. “You have been out of practice for quite a while.” He teased, knowing his words wouldn’t be taken to heart. 

Malik chuckled, “Perhaps I haven’t had a target that has motivated me enough yet.”

The pair closed the distance between one another to join together in a hug. Altair rested his cheek on Malik’s shoulder closing his eyes and sighing feeling Malik’s one arm wrap around and hold his waist. Altair squeezed him once more before they pulled away from one another and Altair nodded his chin towards the dark Bureau. “I’ve caught you just before bed haven’t I?”

“Yes, you have.” Malik nodded, hand falling to Altair’s hip as he followed his gaze “In the morning we’ll talk about the information you need and-“

Altair grabbed Malik’s shoulders and leaned his head down to capture his lips. Closing his eyes and trying his hardest to pour all his love and affection into the kiss so Malik could understand how months apart took a toll on Altair each time he had to leave. Malik sighed softly and held Altair’s waist as the Assassin pushed him back against the cool stone wall, Altair trailed his hand down Malik’s arm to twine their fingers together. Malik squeezed his eyes closed as Altair kissed him with such passion his head started spinning. Altair bit his lip softly and pinned Malik’s hand back against the wall so he could feel the stone on the hand of his hand and cupped Malik’s cheek in his other hand. Malik whined softly at Altair pinning him completely so he was in control but enjoyed how Altair’s hand squeezed his reassuringly. 

Finally pulling back, Altair leaned their foreheads together as they caught their breath. Altair finally smiled and ran his thumb over Malik’s lips softly, making the other smile and lean into the touch. Altair kissed him again ran a thumb over his cheekbone then down along his jaw, enjoying the tickle of his much grown stubble under the pad of his thumb. 

“How I’ve missed you.” Altair whispered. “I’m sorry for being away for so long Malik, but know that not a day went by that I didn’t-“

Malik kissed him to quiet him. “It’s alright Altair.” He gave a small smile and squeezed their hands together. “I’ve thought of nothing but you as well.”

Altair smiled, a very rare but welcome sight. 

They stayed together until a cool wind passed them and Malik’s eyes widened a little. The breeze bringing him back to his senses. He pushed Altair away and looked around the rooftops. “Altair you- you novice! We cannot be seen in such a way!” He hissed and moved past the other to grab the pole he used to lock the Bureau every night. 

Altair chuckled and let his head fall back on his shoulders to his face was turned to the sky. “You think me so stupid? There are no guards around here Malik, and I was not followed.”

Malik set the metal pole aside once the Bureau was secured and pressed his fingers to his temple. Annoyed. “Still, you haven’t been know for being the most observant as of late.” Altair crossed his arms over his chest and rolled his eyes. Malik passed him to enter his Bureau and placed a hand on the stone and looked back over his shoulder, “Well are you joining me or sleeping here tonight?” Malik nodded the stump of his arm to the rugs and pillows in the corner. 

Altair smiled. “Since you asked so nicely.” He uncrossed his arms and followed. Once safely out of sight, Altair placed his hands on Malik’s waist and kissed the nape of his neck. 

Malik blushed as Altair’s arms wrapped around his waist and chin on his shoulder. 

Altair followed in silence as Malik opened the door to his bedroom and closed the door behind them and locked it. Altair peeled himself away with a yawn and covered his mouth as he looked around. A calmness came over him as Malik made quick work of lighting two candles around the room. It was still as messy as Altair remembered it being months ago. Even in their training days as novices, Malik was always the more messy and disorganized one of the two. Surprisingly. Piles of books were scattered around his wardrobe and table, candles nearly melted down to puddles of wax sat all around, piles and piles of loose papers of letters and maps and notes were littered around. It was cluttered, but it was Malik. Altair smiled to himself, the familiar atmosphere making him feel at home. 

Malik turned and looked Altair up and down. “Do you plan on just standing there all night or undressing and removing your weapons?” He raised an eyebrow as he shuffled out of his long navy robe, folding it and setting it onto a table. 

Altair smirked. “I planned on letting you undress me.” He started by removing his sword and setting it onto the ground carefully. 

“Novice.” Malik’s cheeks flushed and looked away. Flustered. He smiled to himself as they undressed in silence, removing weapons and their many layers of clothing before they stood ready for sleep before one another. Altair ran his hands through his much grown hair, a wavy dusty brown mess. Malik smiled seeing Altair in nothing but his night breeches, his Assassin robes folded on a table leaving his toned top half bare. Altair wrapped his arms around Malik’s chest and leaned his cheek on his shoulder, sighing as Malik rubbed his back up and down slowly feeling the soft fabric of his long sleeve cotton night shirt, his night breeches rolled up to his calves and feet bare. Altair loved being the only one to see Malik before bed. 

Malik kissed his cheek and lead them towards the many blankets and pillows on a straw heap that served as his bed. Altair laid first and extended his hand to help Malik down, helping him keep balance. If it were any other trying to help, Malik would roll his eyes and swat their hand away but with Altair he was different. They were both different, showing each other a part of themselves that nobody ever saw. They laid facing one another and Altair pulled a thin quilt to cover them, Malik lay on his right side and yawned behind his hand as Altair’s hand found his narrow waist. Malik relaxed at the touch when Altair lifted his shirt and rubbing the skin of his waist with his calloused hand, hands that had killed men beyond counting, hands that could kill him before he could react. But hands that remained soft and gentle for his lover in their most intimate moments. Malik smiled and reached out to touch Altair’s cheek with the back of his hand. 

Altair closed his eyes and retracted his hand from Malik’s waist to hold his hand and kiss his palm. Altair sighed heavily and pressed Malik’s hand to his heart.

Malik’s eyebrows drew together slightly as Altair bowed his head, effectively hiding his face from the other. Malik pressed his hand against his chest harder and rubbed his thumb in small circles. “Don’t.” He knew that face. 

Altair raised his head at his whisper letting their eyes meet. He was still full of shame and embarrassment, even after all the time that had passed. After months he was still ashamed of himself. 

Malik sighed and moved closer. “Don’t Altair.” He watched as the other looked away. “My love,” Malik’s hand found his cheek. “my life, do not do this to yourself. You know I’ve forgiven you.”

Altair nodded and kissed his fingers, trying to banish the dark thoughts from his mind. He raised his head and leaned forward capturing Maliks’s lips in an emotional kiss. “I know.” Altair whispered against his lips, Malik could feel his breath as he spoke. “I know, my heart. But I haven’t forgiven myself.”

Malik’s heart ached at his words. 

“A part of me will never forgive myself for causing you so much pain” Altair fidgeted with Malik’s hand, rubbing his thumb over his knuckles and lacing them together. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness Malik, you are too kind and too-“

Malik kissed him to silence him. Squeezing their hands together as he did. Altair kissed him gently, timid almost. 

“I don’t deserve this. I don’t deserve you.” Altair whispered pulling away, he lowered his head and sighed. “And you know I don’t Mal.”

Malik swallowed thickly and watched with concerned eyes. Altair never voiced his thoughts.

“I don’t deserve your forgiveness or friendship and certainly not your love, or a second chance from the Order.” Altair continued to examine Malik’s hand with his own. “I’ve made too many mistakes and have taken too long to learn from them.” Altair closed his eyes and let Malik’s hand go. 

“That is true.” Malik nodded in agreement after the silence between them began to draw out, he gave a small smile watching Altair scoff and roll his eyes. “But it is the fact that you have learned Altair.” 

Altair’s eyebrows drew together in slight confusion. Malik had a way with words that could always confuse him.

Malik sighed softly. “You have changed Altair, you are not the same man I once knew.” Malik placed his hand on Altair’s bicep and held him. “You have changed in the past year my friend, you’ve become an honourable man in my eyes and the eyes of the Brotherhood.”

“Malik.” Altair breathed wanting him to stop.

Malik kissed him gently. “And you have earned my forgiveness, I will always hurt remembering Kadar. But I have you, and with you I am nothing but complete.”

Altair shook his head. “Mal don’t say such foolish things.”

Malik frowned, eyes searching Altair’s face for answers. He understood after a moment. “You want me to tell you that I’ll never forgive you, that I hate you.” Malik whispered. “You want me to punish you instead of love you.”

Altair sighed heavily and rolled onto his back, Malik’s hand falling to his chest before he brought himself up and leaned his weight on his forearm pressed against his bed. “It’s what I deserve.” Altair scrubbed both his hands up and down his face. 

“Novice,” Malik muttered in annoyance as he sat up fully, “you deserve my love Altair. And my forgiveness, don’t make me say it again because I tire of repeating myself to you over and over as if you don’t understand.” He crossed his legs and sat facing Altair. 

Altair couldn’t help but smile at his empty threat.

Malik’s voice softened, “And it pained me greatly to watch you become a man without morals-“

“I‘ve always had morals-“

Malik pressed his hand down against Altair’s chest knocking the wind out of him momentarily to quiet him. He watched with a satisfied smile as Altair growled and breathed deeply to regain his breath. 

“In Soloman’s Temple you were a man I was disgusted by.” Malik watched as Altair rolled his eyes at the insult. He smiled, “I did not like to think that we had been trained together were friends once, and I hated to watch you kill without a second thought and walk with your head held high with such arrogance and feel a sort of entitlement due to your rank.” Malik could see Altair watching him silently, eyes tracking his face knowing he was telling nothing but the truth. “I hated to think that you were the man I was in love with.” Malik sighed heavily and closed his eyes. “No matter what you did or how you acted, I was too afraid to speak to you of your actions that you would push me away forforever to truly voice my thoughts of you. I stayed by your side all those years watching you become corrupted and lead astray by power and the high that came after a kill, without saying a word.” Malik’s voice dropped to a whisper. 

Altair eyebrows knitted together and he took Malik’s hand on his as he sat up. “Malik?” He sat with his longs legs flat against the bed and Malik between them. 

“I,” He sighed heavily shaking his head, “I am part to blame for Kadar’s death and the loss of my arm and for-.”

Altair squeezed his hand. “Don’t you dare say such things. You had no part, what happened in that cursed place was my doing, not yours.”

Malik turned and looked at him with tired eyes. “I let you become that man because I was so in love with you and so afraid to lose you. I let you become a monster, a mindless killer because I was selfish.” Malik bit the inside of his cheek watching Altair’s frown deepen. 

Altair shook his head. Not caring of Malik’s insults or words against him for he knew they were true, but being stunned that Malik blamed himself for Altair becoming an arrogant and shameful Master Assassin. Altair sighed and combed a hand thought his wavy hair. “I don’t blame you. I could never, my actions are my own.”

Malik turned and looked at him. “But I could’ve stopped you, I-I could’ve knocked some sense into you as soon I saw you becoming-“

Altair kissed him to silence him. One hand squeezed Malik’s and his other held Malik’s jaw, then combed though his stiff hair. Altair kissed him for a long time, gently and slow. Finally pulling back, Altair held one of Malik’s shoulders and the other on his cheek. Malik blinked sudden tears out of his eyes and pressed their foreheads together. He touched his hand to Altair’s shoulder and let it trail down his arm. 

“Don’t think for a moment that I would ever banish you from my life Malik.” Altair whispered. “You must know that you have always been the most important person to me. All my life you’ve been by my side, through everything. I can be nothing but grateful for having you.” Altair sighed. “You were the one that saved me from the man I had become.”

Malik let out a shaky breath. 

Altair smiled sadly and kissed him again. Cupping his cheeks and holding him close. “I promise you my heart, I would never- I could never live my life without you.” Altair rubbed a tear away from his cheekbone with his thumb, “The moment I lose you, is the moment I lose myself.”

Malik gave a teary smile and held one of his wrists. 

“Malik I can’t put into words how sorry I am for Kadar.” Altair watched as Malik’s expression fell, “No apology will ever be enough and know-“

Malik kissed him. Altair sighed into the kiss and held his cheeks in his hands, afraid to let go. “It is done Altair, you’ve apologized before. And although you are no genius with words,” A small smile “I know you mean every word.”

“I do.” Altair nodded. 

“I know.” Malik whispered and sighed. “I know Altair.”

“For everything Malik,” Altair’s voice was barely a whisper, “for everything I’m so sorry. The rift between us, my actions and words, the way I spoke to you-“

“There is no rift.” Malik cut him off. “There is no longer.”

Altair nodded. 

“Not any longer.” Malik kissed him again and leaned foreword to wrap his arm around Altair’s waist in a hug. Altair followed in wrapping his arms around Malik’s shoulder and hid his face in his neck. 

A smile broke over Altair’s face and he closed his eyes. “Are you crying Malik?” His tone teasing.

Malik smiled against his neck and pushed Altair back against his bed. Although there were never very many moments they expressed their thoughts to one another so deeply, each time Altair voiced his thoughts Malik knew he meant it. And he knew it had to have been on Altair’s mind and nagging at him for long enough so he voiced his thoughts. Malik sighed as he looked over Altair’s face, his much grown stubble on his jaw and top lip that he would surely shave off in the morning before Malik made them breakfast, his tanned skin from being in the sun on horse back for days, his tired golden eyes that could take Malik’s breath away, the scar on his lips that turned up when he gave a rare smile. Malik smiled and kissed him as he slowly lowered himself down onto his right side. 

Altair tucked an arm under his pillow and let his other fall onto Malik’s shoulder. His hand trailed down his body and rested in his hip, Malik smiled into the kiss as Altair pulled him closer so their bodies were flush together. 

Malik pulled back and watched Altair closed his eyes and bow his head. Malik kissed his wavy hair and tucked Altair’s head under his chin so his face was pressed against the fabric of his night shirt. Altair tangled their legs together and wrapped his arm around Malik’s back to hold him close. 

“In time,” Malik whispered after a long time, one candle had burnt out making his room darker, “you must learn to forgive yourself Altair.”

Altair nodded and hugged him tighter. 

“I love you.” Malik closed his eyes.

“I love you too Malik.” Altair’s voice was heavy with sleep and muffled against his chest like a child making Malik smile widely. 

“Novice.” Malik laughed tiredly as Altair kicked his shin. 

**Author's Note:**

> Hope it wasn’t too bad! Thanks for reading


End file.
